Jun 8

It’s still Tuesday!

    Would you rather:

  1. wear the same underwear for a week OR not bathe for a week?
  2. eat a plate full of boiled earthworms, covered in gravy OR fried bird feet with a tangy teriyaki glaze?
  3. Does anyone realize bird feet are a good source of gelatin?

  4. drop your wallet and keys in a thick patch of cacti and have to dig in to find them OR play dodgeball naked?
  5. Yeah, I’m the naked big girl :P

  6. get caught spitting in your boss’ coffee OR mooning your neighbor?
  7. If I’ve shown truckers 10 pounds of pressed ham under glass, I think I could handle the neighbors :P


May 11

You must choose?

tuesday is chooseday

    Would you rather:

  1. one day at a job you like, have your boss catch you masturbating OR sending out resumes to other employers?

    it could lead to more $$$.

  2. be seen on a date with a beautiful woman that was actaully a man OR be seen on a date with a really ugly skank that smelled bad (courtesy of genuine)
  3. I’ll take a well-maintained cross-dresser any day.

  4. be on a totally nude beach all day long (with no chance of escape) without any kind of sunscreen or shade OR use the nastiest construction-site port-o-potty (out of severe need) that is lacking toilet paper? (courtesy of shaunacat)
  5. I can always go home and shower. Short term disgust will win every time.

  6. be the first one to know the world is ending OR be the last one to know the world is ending? (courtesy of ilgondo)
  7. I’d obsess about it. Better to find out right before it happens.


May 4

tuesday is chooseday

tuesday is chooseday

    Would you rather:

  1. while camping, have to cut your arm off with a pocket knife because it got stuck under a boulder and you were trapped for three days OR suck snake venom out of a snake bite in richard simmons’ ass?

    Suck venom. Short term, and most likely not permanently disabling.

  2. have both your feet amputated at the ankles OR be in a 10 round, bare-fisted, cage match with mike tyson?

    Amputation. There are no guarantees that I’d live through a 10 round fight with him - he might bite through the jugular.

  3. perform oral sex for 2 minutes on paris hilton OR anna nicole smith?

    Can you guarantee me they’re disease-free?

  4. be in a big-budget, action flick with paul reubens (pee wee herman) OR a low-budget, artsy film with jesse ventura?

    I’ll take the big-budget action flick. Paul Reubens is the better actor.


Apr 13

Tuesday is Chooseday

    Would you rather:

  1. live in a place with the constant threat of volcano eruptions OR the constant threat of tidal waves?
    Volcanic eruptions. Anything that has the potential to add to my real-estate holdings!

  2. go through an operation that would make you absolutely gorgeous, able to win any beauty contest OR one that would make you able to run faster than anybody on the planet?
    I think I’d take the running. While I’m not /opposed/ to plastic surgery (and am actually expecting to do some work when I’m through having kids) I’m not “into” having work done unnecessarily.

  3. have warts on your face OR on your genitals?
    EEW! Incredible shudders of EEW!
    OK, having gotten that out of my system, I’d say on my face. They can do wonders with plastic surgery these days.

  4. scream in pain everytime you comb your hair OR cry like a baby when you brush your teeth?
    I’d choose the hair. and then I’d go for the dredlocked look :P


Apr 7

Day late!

Tuesday is Chooseday

    Would you rather:

  1. go through 5 years of poverty and get $10,000,000 OR go through 1 year of poverty and get $100,000?
    Hrm. I think I’d do the 5 years. I’ve lived below the poverty level, and it’s do-able if you set realistic goals.

  2. date someone who is fabulous looking but has unmaskable, horrible breath OR someone who is simply average but has great breath all the time?
    simply average and fresh breath.

  3. hand wash the poopy cloth diapers for 50 babies for a day OR hand wash the poopy cloth diapers for 5 babies for a week?
    Good gawd, it’s just poop. It DOES wash off. I’m already cloth-diapering two kids, I don’t really care how many more you add on.

  4. be fat, dumb, and happy OR in excellent shape, sharp as a whip, but melancholy or depressed all the time?
    I can’t be fat, sharp as a whip, and happy? OK, then I’ll take fat, dumb, and happy. Depression is no fun.

Mar 17

I always forget it’s Tuesday! Remember … you can now link to http://tuesdayischooseday.com!

    Would you rather:
  1. walk to school OR carry your lunch?
    Walk to school. I always hated cold lunches
  2. drink green beer and throw up for the next hour OR drink green beer and pass out and wake up in an unknown place?
  3. Definitely throw up. I like to know where I am.

  4. catch a leprechaun and he give you his pot of gold but the police think you stole the gold and you go to prison OR have to run away from a leprechaun that’s evil like the one in the movie
  5. Do I get the gold back after I serve my time? Cuz I gotta have the gold!

  6. call in “sick” to work so you can go celebrate st. patrick’s day with your friends OR go to work and your boss takes you all out to party?
  7. Definitely let the boss pay for it.


Feb 17

Tuesday!

Would you rather:

  • Your family and friends find out that you have downloaded (from the internet) instructions on how to make a bomb OR midget fetish porn?
  • The bomb. Getting caught dling porn of /any/ type in this house is a bad bad bad thing.

  • Make your living emptying other people’s garbage OR giving sumo wrestlers massages?
  • I’d do the massages. Sumo wrestlers (if successful) make good money and wouldn’t hesitate to pay /very/ well to keep their bodies in top shape.

  • Run naked through your grandparent’s 50th wedding anniversary OR through your best friend’s wedding?
  • Hrm. Probably the best friend’s wedding.

  • Find a tree that will only grow in Chicago that grows money, but only grows Chilean Pesos OR only grows Icelandic Kronur?
  • At current exchange rates, the Kronur. And I hope it’s a huge tree with lots and lots of fruit since ya need about 70 of ‘em to equal $1US.


    Feb 3

    Chooseday!

    , so…awaaaaaay we go!

    Would you rather:

    1. find out from your significant other that he/she is cheating on you by: you walking in on them OR he/she telling you about it?

    Well, I’ve been told about it, and can honestly say I’d rather not walk in on them. I have a vile temper and a loaded gun and….if I’m being cheated on, are they REALLY worth the potential jail time?

    2. take a 20% pay cut at work OR get a promotion and a 20% pay increase, but your first new task is to fire three of your co-workers?

    Promotion and fire people. Odds are that they’re gonna be fired *anyway*, and I have 3 kids to support. I’ll take every penny I can get my hot lil hands on.

    3. be responsible for a car accident that causes your best friend to become paralyzed OR be involved in a sex scandal with a famous politician?

    Hands down - sex scandal. Much less guilt, and a piece of ass to boot? I’m all OVAH that one.

    4. when you lie to someone: drool uncontrollably OR burp loudly?

    Burp loudly. You can always excuse yourself for being rude AND camoflage the fact that you’re lying by burping loudly all the time.