Kid does not want to get out of bed.
Kid gets pulled out of bed by me - and then noodle legs himself into the floor.
Kid gets picked back up by me AGAIN, landed on his feet, and gently nudged in the general direction of the kitchen. Noodle legs again.
My head explodes just a smidge, and I yell “Papaw YOU get him up, I need to get the OTHER kid ready for school” (Papaw’s response: to sit on his ass and yell “Kid? get outta bed!”)
I run and get Kid2 started on breakfast, snatch NoodleLegs up out of the floor and land a swat on his behind - which as usual results in an ear-piercing scream. You know the scream - the one that sounds like a serial killer just found a victim.
Said scream brings My Sainted Mama running “to the rescue”. She’s been in her room the entire time (as usual) and has absolutely no clue what’s been going on for the last 20 minutes. She picks him up, carries him into the kitchen, sits him down in his chair, and pours the milk over his cereal. And then stares at him in wide-eyed wonder as he noodlescootches his way out of the chair and onto the floor, leaving said cereal to turn to mush.
She put him back in his chair and tried to hand him his clothes - and of course he promptly dropped them on the floor.
She stared at him.
And stared.
And said “You’re going to miss school if you don’t get dressed!”
And I said “That’s the general idea, Sainted Mama o Mine. He DOES NOT WANT TO GO.”
I picked the pants up and put them on him. I pulled the shirt on over his head and slid his noodlearms through the sleeves. The lightbulb finally, blessedly flickered on in Mama’s head and she went to retrieve his shoes so I could finish putting the lunches in boxes and doublecheck backpacks.
~~~~~~~~~
The rest of the school year - mornings exactly like this one - are being looked at with an extreme distaste. They like being with the kids in their classes (up to a point). The homework is for the most part busywork - practice on skills they’ve achieved proficiency in. They have been out of school (sick) almost as much as they’ve been there.
I want to let them go back to homeschooling. I just don’t know how we can achieve that without my head exploding.
In the mail today: the county association’s “welcome to homeschooling/how to” packet.
Addressed to My Sainted Mama.
You know, the stuff I talked about at the end of January.
I didn’t get my GPA up. Flunked another class, as a matter of fact. There’s always the fall semester, ASSuming I actually go back to Salem (The jury is still out on that matter).
We haven’t travelled yet. We’re going to the mountains for an overnight family thing, and I’m saving up my pennies for the beach. When I wrote that post, I was not expecting gasoline at $4/gal. The trip to the West Coast is tabled absolutely. My brother is not coming home anytime soon either. Mamaw offered to fly his family home for her birthday - she wants to meet his kids. He turned her down. Yes, I’m going to kick his ass when/if I do see him.
The debt snowflaking is progressing nicely. I eliminated my one department store card, and have started working on my one credit card.
I’m not moving anytime soon, Mama did give up her doublewide paradise idea, I still haven’t rolled my own DVR (the one we already own still works). I don’t think I’ll ever be satisfied with any of my theme ideas so I’ll stick with this one and quietly grr about it. The electronics graveyard is in two places instead of 20million, but I’m not going to ebay them. I’m waiting on the next e-waste recycling day.
My social life has improved a wee bit, and the puzzle is still in the box - having been joined by another equally cool puzzle still in the shrinkwrap.
When I first read MMND’s post about abundance I felt a ring of WOOHOO! through my soul. The original post had her spending a dollar amount (that multiplies exponentially until by day 30 we’re spending 50 *billion*) and combining her spree with gratitude for three things.
And then she kicked it up a notch by adding in a third element a few days later: how she could generate that amount of money in order to make her “wished for” thing happen.
My jaw dropped.
The first thing that came to mind was the message boards that I no longer participate in; the ones where oneupmanship was de rigeur. A mama would post that she’d given birth in a hospital without drugs; another piped up that she’d delivered in the ER; #3 birthed in the parking lot…all the way down to the ultimate Hippier-Than-Thou mama who squatted down in the backyard and delivered, then went back to hanging up the laundry before chopping firewood for her cookstove.
Then I thought of Y’s post about seeking her own relationship with God - where she says
I need to know that there is a higher purpose in life because there are days where I think “Is this all there is?”
The whole point of the exercise is to enjoy the abundance of the universe, why in the world would you want to limit that abundance by adding a “ways I can make it happen” element?
For me, that isn’t an option. In order to receive my abundance, the “I” has to be removed. Otherwise you’ll find me curled up in a chair sucking my thumb and saying “can’t do that. can’t.”
And now, without further ado, my $12,800 will be spent on a new car and insurance for my daughter.
I’m participating in The Millionaire Mommy Next Door’s abundant life spending spree
30 days of spending
I’m buying My Sainted Mama an LCD HDTV. Trust me, it’s an investment in my sanity. She wants one and she spends a generous portion of her day watching TV.
I’m participating in The Millionaire Mommy Next Door’s abundant life spending spree
30 days of spending
And all I got was this piece of paper.
Can someone call the fashion police? I think it should be illegal to make people wear this shade of orange, even in 1988. And I can’t find any pictures that I’m willing to post with the perm My Sainted Mama said would look soooo incredibly good.
You know. The poodle perm.
I remember that day being strangely anti-climactic. I somehow realized even then what I know as a fact now — it would be the last time that I’d ever see 99% of these people, even with reunions. There are some that I wonder about, especially the students that moved with me from elementary to jr. high to high school. Some of us met in the parking lot before or after rehearsal (c’mon, it’s been 20 years SURELY you don’t expect me to remember which??!!??) and I remember thinking that it was nice, but weird. One of the guys commented on said poodle perm. Something or other about the chemical smell. I wanted to whap him for that, don’t remember if I did or not. I did make him sniff my head, since it most CERTAINLY did not reek of ammonia.
When I run into former classmates in town, they all ask if I’ve heard anything about a reunion. (I haven’t.) Or they ask if I’ve seen so-and-so. (Um. No, again.)
Twenty years. Good lord I’m old.
Today Lio rocked my world (and of course? offended My Sainted Mama in the process. SCORE!!!!)
Witness:
How can you NOT love this comic??!!??
This post phoned in by “I’m HOT and WHY is my keyboard sticky and PUT THAT FLIPPIN RECORDER DOWN IT IS AN OUTSIDE TOY”
Monday night, I took advantage of my small-town library. (I’m all about the free events, y’all.) After my mile-long walk of shame at lunchtime, there was no way I was going to jack this up. I checked the library’s webpage, went back and pulled the newspaper article, confirmed that I’d written the correct information in my planner, and arrived five minutes early (and also? Making me the first to arrive).
Jackie Stanley, the CEO (Chief Encouragement Officer) was at the Kernersville Library with her new book, Jackie Stanley’s Dictionary of Encouragement. She was engaging, articulate, and my favorite kind of motivational: blunt, intense, and to the point.
She spoke a bit about how she went from Family Law to CEO, and then began her main message: You are so much more than what happens to you. You’re not the breakup - the breakup is happening to you. It sucks, it’s difficult, but it is NOT YOU.
It’s becoming easier for me to take “global” messages like her presentation and wrap them around my situation - specifically to take more of an outside view of My Sainted Mama’s moments. They’re painful, but they’re honestly and sincerely not about me. I just happen to be her designated target.
It’s the end of January, I do believe I should speak to The Goals.
A carryover from ‘07 - Get my GPA up. The F in management dinged me a good one. Lesson: If you’ve already been a manager, learning about management concepts is going to make you laugh your ass off and not take the class seriously. I know, I know - I should’ve dropped the class.
Travel This is the 2008 MUST DO. Not only have I promised Daniel a trip to the beach, I have to *gulp* get on a plane and blast my way to the West Coast, kids in tow. Holly is moving, and will be living close enough to My Brother The Golden Child to visit both. I can introduce myself to his nine- and five-year-old progeny, and perhaps guilt-trip him into bringing his family back East for a visit while Mamaw is still living and my Sainted Mama is still on the shiny side of lucidity.
(Yes, you read that correctly. My brother has children, and I’ve never met them. I’ve only met his wife once, and was quite rude. The first hubs and I were arguing at the time of her visit, and I was so pissed off at him that I snarled at EVERYone. Ask Holly - apparently I scare people when I snarl.)
Snowflake as much as I can. There’s really no reason for me to have any debt other than student loans, so every non-committed penny is going toward paying off my card and then to a new(er) vehicle. And then, most likely to the student loans.
Things in the back of my mind: Moving. Guiding Mom away from the Doublewide Paradise she seems hell-bent on creating. Rolling my own DVR (I need to be able to rip and store our DVD movies on a hard drive. Hard drives can’t get scratched by little boys.) Finish tweaking this theme (which involves sucking it up, going through my pic archives, and doing the effin’ edits.). Getting my Electronics Graveyard into one place, recycling what can be and probably either freecycle or ebay what can’t. Putting The Goals down because it’s just another “thing” to keep up with…
Goals that I’ve completely put down: improving my “social life”. Assembling this puzzle. (Yes, that post was written in 2006. Yes, it’s still in the box. Go me!)
