- Memory :: sweet
- Original :: just like everyone else
- Exclusively :: yours
- Listings :: house
- Bucket :: lolrus
- Knight :: Rider
- Dusty :: trail
- Choice :: pro
- Sunlight :: bright
- Change of plans :: divorce
The last bastion of The Life I’d Planned for my family is crumbling in front of me. I am only one Mama, and I cannot do it all.
See, when a relationship shatters the only thing you can think of is keeping things as close to the status quo for the children. I was an at-home mom in the time Before the Breakup and I stayed at home for as long after the breakup as I could. Longer than I should have, perhaps. It was bad enough that I had to leave him, leave our apartment, leave our life. (And the later insult to injury - that he’s stayed out of our lives.) At least I was still there.
Depressed, hormonal, pregnant/nursing, and out of my flippin mind - but there.
Getting out of the house was necessary for my mental health, I discovered. I went to school and remembered what it was like to talk to people who have actually read the same books I have. I went to work and remembered what it was like to interact with people.
I felt guilty because I wasn’t home with the kids and I enjoyed myself.
Over the last two years of school and year of work I did my best to continue schooling the boys at home. My daughter elected to attend public school for high school and I let her go.
I let her go. Good god that sounds pathetic, dunnit? Like I just threw her under the bus or something.
The plan was to work my scheduled hours, school the boys on my days off, hang out with the local homeschool group at the park and generally enjoy being with my kids. The hanging out hasn’t happened more than a few times - if I’m not scheduled to work when the group gets together there’s laundry and shopping. And Writing. And Homework.
And. And. And.
It’s time for me to change jobs - time for me to exercise something other than the absolute bottom level of my skillset. The job I have is perfect in that it does not require a lot of thought. The job I have is horrible in that it does not require a lot of thought. I’ve stayed in this job, knowing that I can do more, make more money, that I Am More Than This because my supervisor has done really well by me. She has gone out of her way to work with me around my school schedule. She has become more than my supervisor, she is also a friend.
And I’ve stayed in this job because I was afraid to shake my own tree, afraid to take on something different that would detract from my studies. Afraid to change my schedule AGAIN and wreak (temporary) havoc on our lives.
Much like holding out and hoping that some miracle would allow me to continue staying home with my children, I’ve held onto homeschooling. Obviously I’m not going to change everything all at once since that’s usually an invitation to failure. Changing jobs will be first, then we’ll evaluate. I don’t want to give up homeschooling my boys.
But I can’t hold back the entire family because of that want.
Turning the laptop on its side is the only way I can keep the juice flowing.
The External Hard Drive of Doom arrived safely so that I can back up the laptop and get it healed.
The drives have been imaged. Then I ran the Vista M$ backup. THEN I copied every file as-is from the hard drive to the external.
Maybe you should be just a tetch more interested in site stats? Then you wouldn’t be lookin’ at this:
That first step is a DOOZY!
Please refer to the troubleshooting flowchart, specifically the segment that asks Is it after 1am? when you’re contemplating further changes to ANY plugins, decorations, and/or webby-type stuff.
Love,
You.
PS: Gold star, however, for making sure that at least ONE tracking code was hardcoded into the theme.
The Love to Learn Homeschool Resource and Information Conference will be held at Catawba Valley Community College Multipurpose Complex. From their website:
This conference was created to fill the need for up to date, accurate, unbiased, information concerning issues that affect the climate of homeschooling in North Carolina. We want to provide a variety of speakers and sessions on a wide array of homeschooling topics. There will be something for everyone from the beginning homeschool family to those more experienced. We invite you to visit our vendor area to peruse the latest in homeschooling resources and speak with those that create and/or sell items of interest.
*Love To Learn Conference - Home Page.
- Flicker :: light
- Styling :: and profilin’
- Episode :: missed
- Sexier :: really?
- Studious :: bookworm
- Mushroom :: and barley soup
- 8 minutes :: save a horse, ride a cowboy
- Bald :: sexy
- Immunity :: from prosecution
- Sectioned :: orange
Because I very firmly believe that the Family you choose is as important (if not moreso) than the family you’re born into, it thrills me to no end to introduce y’all to my shiny new oldest daughter Dori.
SQUEE!
It still won’t do the dishes.
Tagline Rotator Plugin for WordPress.
can be found here. In that post, they will tell you exactly how much alcohol you can add before the gelatin will lose its structural integrity.
This post on the same site will tell you how to make some pretty tasty jello shots using liquers and different flavor combinations.
So please, go see those guys at My Science Project and leave my family-friendly (cuz there’s no booze innit!) Rainbow Jello alone. Mkay?
This blogpost brought to you in celebration of the 10billionth person to find my two-year old Rainbow Jello post by searching “can you make a jello shot that won’t melt”
I think by know everyone knows there is no instruction manual that comes with a freshly birthed baby. There are loads of books, but you have to pick and choose and try different things before you find one that works for your family. You hold your baby’s hand as they learn to walk, wincing as they wobble and applauding when they succeed. You teach your child how to navigate the world of cliques and bffs and finding themselves. You teach them how to make the choice that’s appropriate for *them* - which isn’t always the popular one.
And then they hit The Teen Years. It’s been documented that their brain has teh dumb. And yet this is when we expect them to choose a school track, learn how to manage a checkbook and McJob, learn how to drive a car and navigate the adult world. “They” tell you to talk to your teen about drugs, alcohol, and to Just Say No.
Do you know what’s missing from all the stuff “They” say?
How, exactly, are you “supposed” to handle it when your teen says “YES!!! There were drugs and alcohol and I had a *fine* time!!! Now come get me because I’m too effed up to drive.”
Do you flip your shit and slap them into rehab? Waggle your finger and say “Don’t you EVAR do that again”? Start researching boot camps, military schools, and wilderness programs?
What are you “supposed” to do when your teen says “Screw the rules. I can couchsurf if I have to. I have plenty of friends that’ll let me stay with them.”
Do you show them the door, bidding them good luck? Install bars on the windows and an alarm system so you’ll know when/if they try to get out?
What are you “supposed” to do when your teen calls two hours after curfew and says “Uh. Not comin’ home tonight. Not tellin’ you where I am. You don’t need to know who I’m with. Now stop CALLING me, you’re STRESSING me OUT!!!”
Do you call the police and ask for help? (And furthermore, what do you do when they can’t/won’t help?) Get in your car and start cruising the city? Enable the GPS on their cellphone?
I have friends who had babies at 14 and 15 (respectively). Their lives are good now, but were incredibly difficult then. How are you “supposed” to handle it when you try to talk to your teen about sex and they refuse to talk about it?
What are you “supposed” to do?
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