I did not think it was possible.

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I did not believe it. Could not believe it. I mean, I know I’ve had my fatass planted right here on the sofa for the last (eternity) coughing out a lung and blowing various fluids out of my nose

(Hey y’all? It sucks HARDCORE when you sneeze while you have a mouthful of scrambled eggs. Don’t try it at home, kids.

Really.)

But really. I didn’t think it was possible, but I stumbled to the end of the internet.

See?! You thought I was making that up, dintchoo?

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta go select more topics because reading books makes my brain hurt

(something I never EVER thought I’d say)