The Bleaching of The Bathroom

I honestly thought I’d be able to put The Bleaching of The Bathroom behind me once I’d moved.

Y’see, in the “old” house, the bathroom was luxuriously huge.

No, bigger than that.


No, I don’t remember the room dimensions. At *least* 8 x 8 for the room itself PLUS a utility closet.

Big enough that the fan that came standard in 1995 doublewides was woefully inadequate at pulling all the damp out of the room, creating the PERFECT environment for scienc-y projects like “how long can I let this mildew grow before I start gagging every time I look at it”.

I kid, I kid. It was longer than that.

I finally realized that the sweet spot was right in line with “seasonal” cleaning – twice a year.

I also realized that scrubbing the walls of a room that big was a request to spend the following day in bed with ice packs on the never-fading back spasm.

Who puts textured wallpaper crap in a BATHROOM??!!??

After spinning my wheels one fine day trying to figure out how many walls I could scrub before pissing my back off, logic hauled off and backhanded me a good one.

I didn’t HAVE to scrub.

I could put a strong bleach solution in a pump sprayer (garden sprayer for some of y’all) and kill it all at once.


So my current bathroom is a wee speck when compared to the doublewide. I haven’t measured (because honestly, comparing them would probably but I’m pretty certain that my current bathroom is even smaller than my closet was in the doublewide.

The New House is of the finest 1970s construction. It’s got REALLY good bones, I don’t foresee having to do anything other than paint [touch wood] and general maintenance.


Because the new house is of the finest 1970s construction, it has exactly ZERO exhaust fans in the bathroom. There is an HVAC vent, and there is a window.

Because I tend toward depression, I don’t always want bright lights. I’d rather open the blinds and feel the sun on my skin. This is IMPORTANT because y’all need to know that for the better part of 18 months, the only other light source in my bathroom was

a single lonely 40w (I think? ain’t gettin’ up there to look) bulb

which leads us to where we are today:

with [more than I thought I had] mildewy things growing on the walls.

(I finally broke down and put two more bulbs in the fixture.)

Additionally relevant: I don’t always wear my glasses in the bathroom. I didn’t paint when I moved in, so the bathroom is bluuuuuuuue. I’ve never had a blue bathroom before and I LOVE it. Except the blue makes it really easy to pretend that’s not the Creature from The Black Lagoon growing over the spiderwebs.


Therefore: today between appointments, I shall endeavor to throw open the windows and completely saturate the room ceiling-to-floor with the better part of a gallon of bleach.

Hopefully it works.

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