Asked and Answered

Beth got curious about us the other day. And then I got surrounded by coughing and sneezing and puking little people, which put QUITE the damper on my answers.

1. Remember the movie Brewster’s Millions? That happens to you, except on a smaller scale. You receive a million dollars that you must spend in 30 days. However, you cannot have any assets to show for the money at the end of the month (and you can’t buy something and then destroy it), you cannot waste the money, you cannot give it away, and you cannot tell anyone what you are doing. How do you ditch the dough in a month or less?

Oh my goodness, is there a penalty for taking less than 30 days? Travel, baby travel. I would pay a friend to take the month off and help with the kids, then we would fly to Australia and work our way back home. Around the world airfare for five people + hotels + food for 30 days? Yeah, I’d say that’s a cool million eaaaasy.

Conversely, if I decided that I didn’t want to travel for whatever reason….I would have a multi-faceted kitchen/restaurant. On one side, you can have a sit-down meal with your family. On the other side? Stations where you could prepare meals to take home and freeze. All at no charge. Just come in, sit down, and enjoy.

2. You are locked in a toy store overnight, with no way out until it reopens in the morning. What do you play with all night?

Anything that vibrates. *blinks*

3. If you could have a dinner party with any three famous people, living or dead, you would be wasting your supernatural powers on hosting dinner parties. What would you do instead?

I would be SuperMom – and make everyone PLAY NICE. And I’d wear a cool supertastic outfit that hugged my curves just right (to distract the Bad Guys, of course!)

4. What’s the best thing since sliced bread? Now, sliced bread ain’t all that impressive, so what’s the best mediocre, hum-drum improvement or advancement that has made modern life just ever so slightly more convenient for humanity, along the lines of saving yourself five seconds every time you want a piece of bread.

The hot water heater. Until you’ve heated a pot of water on the stove to bathe yourself and your kids in – and had the kids wig out because I WANT A TUBBY! WITH BUBBLES INNIT! you don’t realize what a wonderful thang that heater really is.

5. What’s your best quality? The response to this question must be a simple declarative statement. You may elaborate on that statement, provided that your elaboration does not include the words “but,” “however,” or “although,” or any other hedging, equivocating, back-sliding, gerrymandering (which is not at all appropriate in this context, but I think it should be, don’t you?) or any other type of backing down from the simple declarative statement with which you began your response.

I know how to Handle Things, and I try to do so with as much grace as possible.

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