It was time to buy new pants for work and shorts for the summer. I can’t wear anything from last summer, and my work pants are officially too big.
For those interested in the weight loss aspect, I cannot in any way shape or form tell you how many pounds lost - I do not weigh myself. When my clothes get too big, I buy the next size down. When my clothes get too small, I buy the next size up. However, I will tell you that when I went back to work (August 2007) my pants were a size 22. These reasonably decent-fitting pants are a size 16. I am not following a diet program of any kind - I eat what I want when I want it.
Also? I’m not frowning, I’m squinting - the lighting in there was painfully awful AND it was uncomfortably loud in that particular retail establishment.
Now that we’ve got the introductions out of the way, let’s just write a letter to the clothing manufacturers of the world, shallwe?
Dear Clothing Manufacturer:
I write to you today with an engineering challenge. Generally speaking, if I find a pair of pants that covers my bubblebutt, the belly is hanging out - and vice versa. I need a waistband that can handle both, since neither is going away anytime soon. I need a waistband that isn’t going to show the whole world my granny panties, and won’t dig TOO horribly into my belly (because really? all waistbands dig in.) Could you possibly get some Real Women With Curves into your fitting program? Waistbands like this should.not.happen. We can rebuild it; we have the technology.
Yes, I know I could probably pay a tailor to correct that small problem in the back. But Clothing Manufacturer? If I buy the pants, I don’t have money left over for tailoring. I may as well buy fabric and sew my own, and that’s a path that we simply do NOT want to go down!
So please, please. Have mercy on my coworkers and the rest of the world. Fix my pants.
Sincerely,
Emily
I feel much better now
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Emily honey, let me tell you my secret. I used to be like you. I suffered through way too many pairs of ill-fitting pants, and finally one day after a fanny-sized chunk of bonus money came my way, I threw caution to the wind. I went shopping in The Expensive Department Store, and then next door at The Expensive Boutique Store. Guess what I found? The clearance rack! Where they have pants that actually fit and are comfortable! And I don’t spend much more than I would have at Target or Penneys, buying their cheaply-made, designed-to-fit-a-dining-chair pants. You just have to be prepared to buy off-season.
Good luck and let us know how you do.
Oh Peggi, if only you knew of my absolute hatred of The Expensive Department/Boutique Stores. First I have to nut up and actually get into the shopping state of mind (it’s right up there with smashing my thumb with a hammer on purpose). Then I have to drive at least 15 miles in either direction to reach the appropriate shopping center and either get lucky enough to run into a knowledgeable employee who knows where the clearance rack is, or stumble into it myself.