from the French m’aider, meaning “come help me”. (I know, not your typical “May Day” post, but I’m not your typical person anyway.)
Obviously you, my dear reader, can’t come make sure I’m eating and sleeping and taking my meds on time. But maybe, just maybe, you’ll see something somewhere that I don’t. Let me give you a brief “just in case you’re new here” snapshot of my situation:
- Three kids - two homeschooled
- full-time college - I’ll be a junior after this semester
- work part-time - less than 20 hrs/week
- income-based insurance on the children*
- food assistance
- no child support
- live with my (retired) parents
- less than $1k cc debt
This is all a delicately balanced volcano about to blow. There must be change, but I can’t see how to change it (forest/trees, yadda) without causing the whole house of cards to come crashing down.
First and foremost: I *have* to move. I’m sick of talking about My Sainted Mama as much as you’re sick of hearing about her. I love her, I acknowledge that she’s a damaged human being and not likely to change (or go to a therapist. She’ll tell me that *I* need to go, but won’t go herself. Heh). Outside of that, we’re simply running out of room. The Teen ™ would like to be able to have friends over, I’d like to invite friends over, and The Folks ™ are old-school of the “you can’t have company over unless the house is antiseptically spotless” variety.
What I already know: I don’t generate enough income to qualify for assistance through Habitat. I’m not sure about apartment living - ASSuming I could afford it, it would have to be a supremely quiet neighborhood (see also: anxiety, sleep issues). The Section 8 office for my county pretty much doesn’t bother answering the phone anymore - the waiting list is absurdly long. Also? Paying utilities becomes an issue the higher the rent/payment goes.
*My coverage was interrupted - I made too much money for a few months. Yes, I find it just as hi-larious as you do. And by “hilarious” I mean “Who the hell sets these income limits??!!??” Nevertheless, I must reapply. And hope and pray that nothing stupid happens between now and then.
So please, friends, strangers, everyone and anyone. Tell me you’ve got a friend in the area with an empty house that needs to be lived in. Point me in an unexplored direction.
Please.
Is it possible to pursue child support? I believe when you apply for certain things, you don’t have to count it as income, which would certainly be a help.
I’ve had open child support cases since 2005. And once I actually DO get child support ordered, it’s counted as income for some things - regardless of whether or not he actually PAYS the ordered support.
Depending on where you are attending classes, you may be eligible for family housing at the college. My husband works in housing and he is required to live on campus and we lived in family housing for a while until they built us an apartment in the dorm. While the amenities in family housing left something to be desired, it was very quiet. Most people living there have small children so quiet hours are enforced so the little ones can get some sleep and the parents can get study time. Student loans suck, but if you talk to the financial aid dept. they may be able to help. My husband is going back to school in the fall and we’re going to have to rely on loans to tide us over as his assistantship will pay less than our monthly rent. We’re moving in a month cross-country and have been trying to find a place long-distance. So, I sympathize with you, house hunting sucks.
There is no family housing at my school that I’m aware of. I’m taking the maximum amount of student loans out that I’m allowed each semester - it covers the difference between gas prices and my 20-hour job, and generally lasts the semester.
And yes, house hunting has been incredibly less-than stellar for me.
My Mom and I have put our heads together on this. One idea is student subsidized housing, not housing on campus. It’d be probably be in another town, but it could happen.
We have our house set up so that we kinda have a floor to ourselves. Could you take over the basement and have people come and go through that door?
Would you parents be happy if they could live in a senior housing and you rented the house from them?
Inevitably, your going to have to compromise if having guests to your home is that important to you. You’re going to have to give up on something yo reach that goal.
Here are harsh ways to get some of what you want
1) put the last two kids in school. It’ll give you more study time, and less stress.
2) Go to school part time. Again, less stress.
3) Work full time. More stress, plus finding insurance but you’ll have the money for your own place.
4) Have the child support enforced. It took five years but I’ve gotten a payment so far - and it is better than nothing.
5) Let the teen get a job, with the understanding that part of the money goes to the family. Try it in the summer first.
The teen is applying for a summer job, with the understanding that it’s ONLY a summer job - she’s taking a ton of honors courses next school year and I simply don’t see that meshing well with a job.
I spoke with my CSE worker the other day. She’s doing everything she can, but they’re out of state cases.
Right now the work/school balance is a little jacked. Fortunately, the semester is almost over, and I’m not going to summer school.